What not to do when you desperately want to have a girl friend??

My target readers,
If you are a guy (age >= 22) and still single, welcome to the club.
Read this very seriously.

If you are a guy, not single then reading this is not worth your time.
If you are a girl there is nothing new here, I know most of you are omniscient.

On a random day, at a random place you come across a random girl and you get an instant feeling that she is the "one" for you. In the next few mins of talk, the inevitable question comes up "Are you on Orkut?". Now that's the beginning. You take her email ID, flick her chat ID from Orkut and start loading her inbox with messages, forwards, funny mails, quotes etc etc.. You are always online for her and the moment you come online the question pops up on her window, "Hey hi, wass up?" You always go to places where there is a chance of seeing her. You try to run in to her and pretend that it was accidental. You wear nice dresses and try to look good on the days when there is a high probability of meeting her. After that you take her phone number and start calling her every day. For the first few days she picks up the phone, then slowly she starts giving the busy tone and the next stage is total avoidance. But, you always believe that she is interested in you or at least you don't want to accept the truth. For some of you the big day comes when you express your feelings to her and you don't even have to wait for her reply, it is generally, "I did not see you in that way, can we be just friends?".

Some don't even reach that stage, they hide their feelings, but in either case one thing is common, the girl's name ends up being the password for the next few months.
As soon as they realize that they have reached the "age", guys start trying to impress girls. Some try to show-off that they are smart and some have this weird belief that girls consider stupid guys as cute.

Intelligence to innocence, being introvert to extrovert, being classy to messy, strong to weak, anything and everything, every guy has his own strategy. I don't know who came up with this quote "Everything is fair in love and war", he (not she) must probably have been one of them. I don't know why guys fail to understand that girls are smart enough to understand all these and why would not they? Even before they realize that they are "girls", guys start hitting on them, one after the other, day and night, not allowing them even to breathe properly.
After reading till here some of you might be in dilemma whether you are really desperate or not. It's very easy to come to a conclusion.

Take a paper and answer the following questions in Yes or No
1. Whenever you see a girl walking on the road ahead of you, Do you increase your walking speed, walk past her and then turn back to see her face?
2. Do you become very conscious about what you are talking, when you are around with girls?
3. Do you try to be cool or someone else in order to impress girls?
4. Do you think staying clam or moody when in a group makes the girl think about you?
5. You ask a girl to join you for lunch or coffee; do you think a YES from other side is an indication that she is interested in you?
6. Do you keep staring at girls?
7. Are you ready to date a girl even if she is around with someone else as well?
8. Is "Girls" the main topic of all your discussions with your friends?

If you find even a single "YES" in the paper then YOU ARE DESPERATE.
Be a man, accept it.

Now the real question "What not to do when you are desperate about having a girl friend?"
Did you actually believe that I would come up with some solution or tips? Had I known it, would I still be single? It was just a trick to make you guys read this one. But, I have one tip though, first and foremost STOP being desperate. I know that it is difficult. At least try not to show that you are desperate. The rule is simple, "No one in this world cares for a thing that is easily gettable" and FYI girls are never worried about finding a guy and why do they have to? Did you ever come across a girl who never had a boy-friend or never been proposed by a guy? If yes, then that's a miracle, you met a "rare species" or an extinct one in this world.

If you got the tip that you wanted and don't want to read any further it's fine. But, I would recommend reading further. Trust me, keep reading.

We know that we are the ones who make the girls realize that they are important, treat them as if they are precious, tell them that they are beautiful and show that they are in demand. We buy them gifts, spend all the money we have, do their work, roam around with them all the time, carry their stuff and in the end what do we get in return? A few thanks and an offer to be a good friend. Do we need all this? If 1/1000 th of the time wasted on a girl is spent on a guy you will find a friend for a lifetime. Just play some game together or watch a movie, give him a cigarette or buy him a drink and that is it. Realize that spending a night with your friends drinking till everyone pukes, having a hangover throughout the next day is more fun than spending the same night with your girl in a pub buying her drinks, talking crap, listening crap, making some crap moves. Whatever.

I know that at some point of time in your life you might have realized all this. But, there is a need to educate the rest and also pass on the message to the future generations. I dream of a day when guys are in demand and girls start worrying about finding a guy. I hope the day comes soon.

If you are still desperate, you need a second read.

P.S.: To the girls: If you think that some guy is crazy about you and trying hard to impress you, please tell him immediately if you are not interested.